Friday, November 21, 2014

Poetry : The Apology By KhaYah (Aisha Williams)

They beat me and I called you to save me ... but you couldn't.. so I secretly resented you.
They took our babies and sold them, I begged you to save us.. but you couldn't .. so I secretly blamed you..
They raped me, and I cried out for you to protect me... but you couldn't.....So I stopped trusting you...
You were supposed to be my man.. my provider.. my protector but when I needed you.. you couldn't be there... so I hated you...
How could I let you tell me what to do.
When massa could protect me more than you..
How could I submit to you when you are forced to submit to massa?
So to protect myself I submitted to the one who could protect me and our children.
I stopped trusting you..
I stopped loving you..
I stopped honoring you..
I stopped valuing you and intern I became valueless to you.
I didn't see the frustration in your eyes when our children were sold..
I didn't hear your silent cries when I was beaten.
I didn't see your anger when I was being ravished..
I didn't understand that you held your emotions to be strong for me..
I thought you didn't care.. but you wanted to be wanted to protect me.. you wanted to ....
but massa made it so you couldn't so I would trust him more than you.
I didn't see the hidden hands shaping our destiny..
all I saw was my pain.. and the feeling that you neglected me..
For all the times I blamed you, I'm sorry
For the resentment and distrust I've held against you for centuries.. I'm sorry
For the times I've let you down
For all the times I've broken your spirit with my words and my actions.
For the times I openly rejected you.. and tried to control you .. because I thought less of you.. I'm sorry..
Massa had a plan.. that he said would work for 400 years.. 400 years is over now.
My eyes are wide open... ..
I see the king in you...
Please forgive my wrongs and see your queen in me.
POETRY By KhaYah (Aisha Williams)


  1. I so love your poem, so deep.

  2. What an eye-opening, deep, realistic expression of the truth. Thank you for your spoken words.

  3. Why is the entire load of "wrongs" put in the Black woman's lap with her begging his forgiveness?

    1. It's Medicine.....Listening To The Mind of The Black Women Who Suffered So Much To Get Us Here !! She's Not Really Apologizing ....She's Really saying she while we were suffering together I was so focused on me.....I now understand fully what you suffered too.

  4. That's not what I got from it. Glad your interpretation works for you.

    1. Bitter much? Smh

    2. I don't get why ladies feel like this poem serves men more. The apology is really her apologizing for the black man's failures, or moreso, acknowledging them and our pain too. As a black guy reading this it's hard to swallow too. You have to read about how entirely and completely another race I'm men emasculated you and stripped you of your self worth and worth to your women while you were forced to stand by uselessly or die.

    3. This poem is beautiful. You nailed it.

  5. I love this poem! It is "the healer"

  6. Ace - The author understands her history and is acquainted with, "Willie Lynch letter: The Making of a Slave."
    Women had to be strong, assertive and protective during slavery for the life of their young boys & men. Our men must do likewise. It's is hard to undo 400 years of conditioning without knowing and understanding ones history.

  7. Love this poem it is me. Outstanding job! Thank you KahYah.

  8. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love this, how important this is to me as a man, a black man. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

  9. It's deep & accurate. A well written description of why & how Black Woman have had to adapt to a different & unnatural role out of necessity. A necessity that was created by society or "the white man".
    Now we need a wise brave man to write a similar poem from the male perspective giving some credit, thanks, respect, understanding & appreciation for how the Black Woman feels after being forced to become something other than her natural self. To have to rise to the challenge to become the leader, the protector & provider, all while remaining the nurturer, mother, caregiver, then be shunned for it & then feel the need to apologize for being strong bc she had no choice.
    All while the Black man cherishes the white woman. Should The Black Woman apologize for that as well?